There’s a common saying: “Behind every successful man is a great woman.”
And while the sentiment may be well-intended, I beg to differ — because I don’t stand behind my partner. I stand beside him.
For a long time, that quote felt true in my own life. Even now, my husband is very much the breadwinner. But I’ve learned that my role as a wife, partner, spouse or mother is not defined by the amount of money I bring home, the title I hold or whether I am employed at all. How you contribute to your household — however that looks — is more than enough, and it doesn’t need society’s approval.
If you asked me whether I’m where I thought I would be in my career, my honest answer would be: not even close. After graduating from grad school, I fully intended to pursue a career in Sports and Entertainment. But when my husband made the decision to commission in the Army, my path shifted. I delayed entering my field for two and a half years while we were stationed overseas.
Like most things in life, the challenges didn’t stop there. Two overseas deployments. Six moves in seven years. Starting a job, relocating and starting over — again and again. I often felt like I was constantly playing catch-up, always one step behind where I should be.
I’ve always wanted to be a career woman. I was raised by a hardworking career woman, and I knew that was the example I wanted to set for myself and my family. But over time, the weight of our military obligations began to wear on me. My husband’s career was growing steadily, while mine felt like it was drifting further out of reach.
Taking the Front Burner
Eventually, my husband made the difficult decision to step away from active duty and transition into the reserves. That moment gave me space to pause, reflect and finally recognize something that took nearly ten years to fully understand: I wasn’t delaying my career — I was supporting our family while continuing to nurture my own growth.
That realization changed everything.
I was finally able to focus intentionally on my goals, and I found an incredible organization that supports exactly that. And now, as I step into a new chapter — motherhood — I feel incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by strong, driven women who are navigating similar paths. We learn from one another. We grow together.
Celebrating Yourself
I’ve noticed that when my husband and I meet someone new, they almost always ask him what he does for work. Sometimes, I’m never asked at all — unless it naturally comes up. And while that used to bother me, I now understand that my worth is not determined by that question.
So wherever you are in your career — whether you’re the breadwinner or not — your role in your family matters. If you’re returning to work after raising children, pivoting into a new field, starting a business or redefining success on your own terms, know this: success isn’t a solo achievement.
It’s a side-by-side effort.
I don’t stand behind my partner.
I stand beside him — and together, we move forward.
About Brigetta Uta’i, Community Engagement Manager, Visit Salt Lake
Brigetta Uta’i currently serves as the Community Engagement Manager for Visit Salt Lake. Although she was raised in Utah, Brigetta recently moved back to Utah after spending the greater decade all over the U.S. and Germany as a proud military spouse. She has spent the vast majority of her professional career in event management and client services.
Brigetta is an avid sports fan and loves playing a variety of sports as well as being a spectator. She and her husband love a good road trip or exploring somewhere new and spending time with their Border Collie, Manu. She can now officially add “working mom” to her description as her little family welcomed a baby girl last summer!
*Any reference obtained from this blog to a specific initiative, issue or topic does not constitute or imply an endorsement by the Salt Lake Chamber. The views and opinions expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect those of the Salt Lake Chamber.
